Second Trial

[neverhadafriend]

[Once again, it's time for the trial. Once again, the floor of the lobby opens up to lead you down to the trial room. Genie can be found in the center of the stage, smoking a pipe and donning a deerstalker hat.]

It's elementary, my dear Watson. [He paces around the stage, peering through a comically large magnifying glass.] You know how this goes, folks. Find the culprit, do the thing.

[He grimaces, whisking away his costume and rubbing his head.]

I gotta say, this one is...kind of a doozy. I can try and clear some things up--as long as I'm allowed to.

[He glances nervously at the birds up above, which continue to chatter amongst themselves.]

[ TRIAL START! ]

Comments

[kuzcospoison]

I mean. ...not to speak ill of the dead, but "more complicated than it needs to be" is- ...was, Yzma's first instinct with these things, usually. [Put that box in a box, put that box in another box, mail it to myself, etc.]

[halloteen]

We really need to keep a better eye on our supervillains... [BRIEFLY GLANCES AT MIM]

[madmadam]

[Just this face.]

[primafacie]

Could she have built the catapult? Do you know if she was working on one?

[halloteen]

Could a 900-year-old woman who is maybe eighty pounds soaking wet build something that heavy by herself?

[primafacie]

Stranger things have been true.

[kuzcospoison]

She could've, yeah...

[...]

...and I... was informed about it.

[prodigalhairess]

[... Wait, what?]

She told you what she was doing this? Did she tell you what for?

[kuzcospoison]

Oh, you know- [He starts... laughing very nervously at this line of questioning, receding away from Rapunzel.] What else do you use a catapult for, what- just... normal, wholesome... activities, like, uh... um...

C-canonballing... a person.

[prodigalhairess]

[Look Kronk she likes you, there's no judgement in her eyes. There's just... worry.]

Did she tell you who she was planning to use it on? Or if she had a plan at all?

[kuzcospoison]

[That arguably makes it worse.]

Yeah, um...

...this... isn't gonna be easy to admit, but I knew what they had planned.

[prodigalhairess]

They- wait. They were planning it together???

[Oh... oh...]

Kronk... can you please tell us everything you know?

[kuzcospoison]

Not... together.

...I was helping them both out, um... behind their backs.

I mean.

They knew... I was helping one of them, but not. The other.

[prodigalhairess]

[Buddy.... BUDDY...]

... Why would you do that?

(1/2)

[kuzcospoison]

...see. See, there's a funny story about that... uh...

Yzma... she asked first. Again, I, uh... we already knew each other. I felt... I owed her one after how badly I ruined our last... attempt. She- the plan was: I make the pie, she throws it at him. We use the catapult to fling his body into the sea never to be seen again.

...and part of it meant sending me in to get close to Cecil, y'know- 'cause I seem more... friendly than she does... he'd be more open if I invited him out to watch some Cats of the Opera at the ol' theater. Wouldn't even suspect Yzma'd be on the chandelier, pie in hand, waiting to get the drop on him.

(2/2)

[kuzcospoison]

...but. Thing is. Cecil and I, we got to talking, too. And he had it in mind, he was gonna kill Yzma. Something about ambushing her and pushing her into the walrus pit. Said he'd need me to do the job, though. 'cause we've got history. 'cause she'd trust me. And given what I said about her, he felt I could do better.

Now, I wasn't sure at first, since I already agreed to Yzma, but I went along, for the plan. ...I won't lie, it was in my mind, when I was sitting next to him- waiting on her to fall...

...and it was in my mind when Yzma saw the catapult was facing the wrong way, and she told me, "Kronk, you dimwitted buffoon, this won't do, we're trying to launch him into the sea!" and I tell her, "No, no, I'm pretty sure I got it placed right, I even got inside the thing to see where it's aiming". And she... to prove me wrong, she climbs in herself, and says it's way off. That it'd be dead-on shot for the walrus pit.

...that's- Cecil says they call that the bait-and-switch. In showbiz.

[halloteen]

...

Every person here is the dumbest person alive. [that's it that's how the master picked them they chose the biggest morons in the multiverse]

[bornforit]

Oh, stars above.

[Wow, that sure is the most convoluted murder confession she's ever heard!]

Kronk, didn't you ever think of...not accomplicing yourself to murder?

[prodigalhairess]

[This is. All so messed up. It's horrifying in a way that last week wasn't because at least Bill was not really a good person?? But Kronk???]

B-But... if you just helped them set everything up, then you're not the one to blame! You didn't- [She can't say you didn't do anything wrong because he kinda did do some stuff wrong here, but he's not... he's not evil.] You're not bad...

[He can't be punished just for other people using him, right...?]

[kuzcospoison]

Y'know... I think I might agree with that.

...if I didn't pull the lever.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[Cassandra just sort of lowers her head into her hands.]

I can't believe this. They both used you.

[halloteen]

I wonder if my grandma has a spell for traveling to the underworld to kick people in the teeth...

[nobodylikesyouwhen]

You knew her? Could...

[ wait. ]

Then her being killed by the catapult and the one who wanted to be a clown getting killed by a pie is weird, right? Would she have been able to make the catapult, do you think?

[kuzcospoison]

Oh. Uh... right, I guess you don't know my history with her.

Yeah, back when I worked under her, I'd see all kinds of wild gizmos she'd make- y'know, real impressive stuff- like this... high-speed rollercoaster ride that'd launch us into the secret lab with all her potions and whatnot. [He has a melancholic smile on his face recalling this memory.] That was... always my favorite.

So... a catapult? That's easy, she'd know how to put one together.

[nobodylikesyouwhen]

So if we say she made the catapult and Cecil made the poison pie... either something went wrong for both of them, or someone else got involved.

[ A frown. ]

And just like last week, if they haven't come forward, they have something to hide.