ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE...

[pleasureislanders]

The first thing you notice upon gaining consciousness is the smell. The air smells musty and woody, like the back corner of some forgotten tourist trap. As you stir yourself awake, you find yourself in a wicker bed with a soft sheet draped over you. The room’s walls are wood-paneled, and a nearby desk displays a digital clock reading “9 AM”. A singular potted plant provides the barest amount of decoration--though, the exact plant species differs between rooms. A note written in flowing cursive has been taped to your door.

MEETING IN THE LOBBY AT NOON
- G ♥
As you make your way out of your room, you’ll find yourself on a balcony overlooking a octagonal lobby below. Various artifacts and trophies decorate the club from top to bottom, cluttering the walls and any available surface. From here, you can clearly see that the marble floor of the lobby is decorated to look like a compass. Descending the stairs will reveal that, in addition to the artifacts mounted on the walls, several plaques have been put up detailing the lives of those trapped here--including you.

If you peer out the windows, you’ll see a tropical island sprawled out before you, overgrown with palm trees and shrubs. If you peer far enough above the treeline, you might even be able to see the ocean. No matter how hard you try, the front door is sealed shut and the windows seem impossible to break.

You've got until noon 'til the meeting happens. For now...enjoy the club, if you can.

[ OOC: Welcome to the Adventurers Club! We're so excited to have you here. This is the intro log--feel free to mingle on this post to your hearts content. At 6 PM EST, we'll be introducing the host! If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the mods. ]

[ LOCATIONS | REGAINS | BIOS ]

Comments

[dannydorito]

Your dedication to ridiculousness is admirable, Timmy.

[He's not sure what's more impressive, the curl or the palm-tree formation.]

But! This no quote-unquote schtick, I have here before you one certificate of authenticity!

[And with a flourish, he produces a bar napkin with "actual bird-thing eye, 100%" written in pen.]

[diebartdie]

[Squint. What is this, writing for ants?]

So rather than prioritizing your escape, you've been standing behind this bar for the past hour. Hoping and praying you'll be able to work the phrase "eagle eye" into your conversation with the poor souls who have to listen to whatever worddribble fails to stay in your mouth.

Typical.

[dannydorito]

If I escaped, I'd miss all the fun of watching you chumps try it.

[diebartdie]

Spoken with all the wisdom of a gothic fourteen-year-old.

[dannydorito]

You'd be the one with personal experience! But don't be too down on yourself, goth kids of all ages can be incredibly valuable as really depressing space fillers or emergency rations, if you're desperate.

[diebartdie]

Really, does your babbling ever cease? Honestly.

It’s as though every time you find yourself in a rhetorical corner, you move the goalposts and go on psychotic tangents!

[dannydorito]

Corners are only a problem if your geometry's Euclidean, Timmy!

[diebartdie]

Don’t you dare attempt to invoke the name of Euclid against me when your material is as stiff as mathematical rigour!

[dannydorito]

Timmy, for you I barely need to invoke Dr. Seuss. Now THERE'S a guy who knew how to party.

[He's just gonna pour himself something alcoholic into a martini glass and take a sip.]

So be honest, who hurt you? Was it failing the mathy parts of the SAT? I bet that was it.

[diebartdie]

[He’s going to harshly grab at that bottle whether Bill likes it or not. If he’s going to engage in a battle of wits against Fats here, he would not like to be anything but sober.]

Aside from a consistent life of self-loathing and foiled schemes?

Rakes.

[dannydorito]

[Yeah, sure, he can have the bottle. The bartender bit has long ceased to be the point here.]

Oh, I get it! The rakes are a metaphor for your own hubris, right?

[diebartdie]

No.

I am referring to literal landscaping equipment.

[loooooooonnnnngggg chug.]

[dannydorito]

The universe is a big place, Timmy! Plenty of room for rakes to be both.

[diebartdie]

...I would disagree with you, but thus far, my life has been written like a sob story tragedy.

[dannydorito]

Have you considered that maybe you should just avoid all garden and garden-adjacent landscaped environments.

[diebartdie]

But I love my spice garden!