Adventurers Club Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pleasureislanders) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
adventurersclub2020-06-21 12:00 pm
pleasureislanders) wrote in adventurersclub2020-06-21 12:00 pm
Entry tags:
ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE...
The first thing you notice upon gaining consciousness is the smell. The air smells musty and woody, like the back corner of some forgotten tourist trap. As you stir yourself awake, you find yourself in a wicker bed with a soft sheet draped over you. The room’s walls are wood-paneled, and a nearby desk displays a digital clock reading “9 AM”. A singular potted plant provides the barest amount of decoration--though, the exact plant species differs between rooms. A note written in flowing cursive has been taped to your door.
- G ♥
As you make your way out of your room, you’ll find yourself on a balcony overlooking a octagonal lobby below. Various artifacts and trophies decorate the club from top to bottom, cluttering the walls and any available surface. From here, you can clearly see that the marble floor of the lobby is decorated to look like a compass. Descending the stairs will reveal that, in addition to the artifacts mounted on the walls, several plaques have been put up detailing the lives of those trapped here--including you.
If you peer out the windows, you’ll see a tropical island sprawled out before you, overgrown with palm trees and shrubs. If you peer far enough above the treeline, you might even be able to see the ocean. No matter how hard you try, the front door is sealed shut and the windows seem impossible to break.
You've got until noon 'til the meeting happens. For now...enjoy the club, if you can.
[ OOC: Welcome to the Adventurers Club! We're so excited to have you here. This is the intro log--feel free to mingle on this post to your hearts content. At 6 PM EST, we'll be introducing the host! If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the mods. ]
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...Well, surely his nemesis will show up sooner or later and explain everything to him. In the meantime, Dr. Doofenshmirtz can be found in the lobby, inspecting the plaques. He doesn't recognize any of these people. Out of curiosity, he pushes the music button on his own plaque and grins at the music selection. Ah, yes--his finest work. He then moves to push Bill Cipher's music button, which just seems to be the word "BILL" chanted over and over again. He shrugs, not thinking anything of it.
It takes a few minutes before he realizes that the music still hasn't stopped. He frowns, turning back to the plaques.]
No, no, shut it off--shut it off-- [He pushes the button over and over again, but all it does it start the 'song' again. The lobby has become cacophonous and most definitely should be avoided for the foreseeable future. He raises his fists in the air in a gesture of exasperation.]
Noooooooooo!
[Later, Doofenshmirtz wanders into the trophy room, eyes darting between the various stuffed specimens. His gaze settles on a platypus posed on a log, and he lets out a scandalized gasp.]
Perry the Platypus, you're a taxidermy animal?! [A pause. Doof squints and scratches his head, leaning in closer to scrutinize the trophy.] Waaaait, this is a regular, brown platypus. Nevermind.
Trophy Room
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Trophy Room
But then she hears this idiot and she's just Got to know.]
... Aren't platypi normally brown?
[Platypuses? Platypeople?]
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lobby
[It's not like she wasn't just having the same problem with her own profile. But clearly there is cause to gently push Doofenshmirtz away from his profile as the cacophony of noise shrinks down to just a single song.]
Stop pressing it!
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[She smiles, in that way a kindergarten teacher does where they're sincere, but you can see the warzone behind their eyes.]
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Hellooooooo there! Does anyone know where we are? A romantic island getaway is nice, but I'd want to be told about it first!
[After meeting some other people, she eventually heads downstairs. She can be found in the salon and lounge checking out the facilities, and even dancing around a bit on stage, though she soon steps off.]
Aw, it doesn't feel right without Runt...
[Eventually, though, she pokes her head into the trophy room. And everyone nearby can hear a high-pitched shriek before she faints dead away.]
Trophy Room
[By which we mean that sooner or later, when Foxy wakes up, she'll find she's been propped up against the wall like one of the trophies, with a small sign reading "foxica blondicus".]
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For the record, I would like to clarify that this was not me.
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F--Foxy? What happened?
[When there's no response, he flusters for a few seconds before he summons up enough courage to go see, because even if Foxy had bullied him mercilessly back home, it's not like he wants bad things to actually happen to her.
So when he gets there, the first thing he sees is Foxy passed out on the floor, and he immediately races over to her side.]
Foxy? Why did... you...
[And then he stops, as he ends up turning his head just in time to making eye contact with one of the taxidermy animals...
... and proceeds to scream now too and proceed to pass out on the floor right there as well. Whoops.]
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[Anyone having the misfortune to be in the hallways near the stairs will, at some point, but subjected to what can only possibly be described as maniacal cackling as an absolute eyesore of a yellow checkered suit bursts out of Room 1.]
Ha! HAHAHA! Eat an endless stream of demonic bees, Stan! I LIVED, SUCKER!
The Main Salon
Hey. Hey! You.
[Bill has situated himself behind the bar in the lounge. He’s got a few bottles and shakers out in front of him. Anyone who actually understands alcohol and mixing drinks knows that the beverages on display here should generally never be mixed at all, much less with each other.]
I’m gonna need to see some kind of ID there, buddy old pal chumsky. We can’t let just anyone waltz in here, there’s rules, you know?
Lounge
EIGHT-BALL, STUPID POCKET!
[And that sound you’re hearing immediately afterwards is the sound of a pool ball hitting the doorframe next to your head as you enter the Lounge. The source is very obviously the loudly-dressed gentleman standing by the pool table, cue stick in hand.]
Awwww, SO SORRY, that was a total miss. My bad.
[Spoilers, he might not look that sorry.]
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[Otherwise, Bill is generally wandering the halls and exploring the small area available to everyone.]
Well hey there! Enjoying your stay so far in this lovely establishment?
Lounge
Nor does he know if he should be impressed or terrified that someone's managed to hit a pool ball with that amount of force and accuracy.
Thankfully! What were you aiming for?
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the main salon
...No.
[Slowly sauntering over to the closet bottle of wine.]
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What does make her mind register that something is wrong is the feeling of the bed. Too thin, to small... in a flurry of movement, Rapuzel is up, head whipping this way and that; this definitely isn't her room, or any of the rooms in the castle. Just what's going on...?]
Pascal?
[Her best and oldest friend is always the one that she'll call out to first. But there's no squeak of reply, and that alone makes Rapunzel's stomach turn. This isn't some sort of dream, or some kind of trick, something is seriously wrong; she runs out onto the balcony in a hurry, looking this way and that.]
Pascal?? Eugene??? Where- is anyone here????
[Later, after calming down, Rapunzel finds her way down to the lobby. It's time to explore to get a feel of her surroundings, and explore she does! Until she gets sidetracked by the profiles, that is. She's pressing the buttons to play music on each one, looking giddier and giddier with each song.]
This is amazing! These don't sound like music boxes, and I don't see any gears... how do they play like this???
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balcony here we gooo
look out belooooow
oh lord she coming
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For much of the three hours before the meeting, she can be found uh. Around, but it's a little hard to find her on account of her spending most of her time climbing as far up the walls as she can to get around. Hopefully you think to look up? Anyway she doesn't look happy, especially if she's spotted, in which case she'll jump down, addressing whatever poor soul has to deal with her today with barely restrained anger. Hopefully that anger isn't actually directed towards you? ]
You. Do you know what we're doing here?
[ Or you can find her by the profiles, if you want her less confrontational, looking over them with a significantly more even expression on her face. ]
So why all of these people...?
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Oh. Uh--no, I just got here myself, but I'd like to make a few complaints to the manager. I mean, the decoration is fine and all, but I feel like there's a point where, like, yeah, we get it, everything's trophies and stuff! Like, jeez, haven't these people bothered to invest in an interior designer?
[He gestures wildly with his hands as he speaks, frowning. He's clearly more concerned about this place's aesthetics than the whole...kidnapping situation.]
From what I've deduced from the note placed on my door, though, it sounds like we're going to have a meeting soon. [A beat.] Ooh! What if it's super secret L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. training?! They said they would be sending me an invite soon!
[Does this guy ever shut up?]
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That gets Cassandra out of bed in a flash, gets her wandering out onto the balcony. This obviously wasn't a dream, but it sure felt that way, especially when she reached over her shoulder and found no sword there. No knife on her belt. No other knife in her shoe, no- Someone's there.
Quick as a flash, she whips around on whoever's entered her periphery, fists-up.]
Who's there?!
[After, hopefully, calming down, Cassandra ventures down to the lobby for further investigation, reacting to everything from the marble flooring, the items mounted on the walls around them... and of course, the bios.
You'll probably catch her pushing the button of her own bio, and standing there, slackjawed as her own voice starts to come out of the wall. Nope. Nu uh, she doesn't want this. How does she turn it off???
Probably not through pressing the button over and over, which she's doing.]
balcony...... Here We Go
Who's asking?
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after an admittedly half-hearted attempt to break a window, it's time for Weird Shit.
oh, mysterious artifacts, her truest love. Marnie flits around the trophy room, pressing her nose against the glass cases like Charlie Bucket at the candy store. she examines each case intently, taking notes in the margins of what is definitely a copy of Frankenstein she liberated from the library. sometimes she writes out loud.]
Mix of cryptozoological, extinct, and... [she squints] Will I need a spear? Grandma would want me to have a spear.
Trophy Room
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[Long before the meeting commences, one can find Kronk in the Main Salon... not that it's hard to miss his presence there, as he gives a huge gasp at the sight of the place and immediately rushes back to the doorway to make a public announcement.]
Woah- hey guys, there's a kitchen! [He's leaning far out of the doorframe, waving excitedly and hollering loudly to address as many people in the building as possible.] I repeat: there is a kitchen! Kitchen spotted! [A discovery so amazing, he can't help but bounce up and down in glee.] Oh, and uh, if anybody's got any dietary restrictions, lemme know now, 'cause I think I'm gonna survey the area and see what I could whip up in a place like this!
[And with that, he promptly disappears into the kitchen, immediately opening as many doors and drawers in it that he possibly can. Including the fridge. Which he forgot to close in his excitement to sort through all the silverware.]
[After fully exhausting the kitchen's contents during his investigation, you'll see him around in the lobby, doing perfect posture push-ups next to the pool table. If you walk by him, he'll put a pause his exercise for a bit.]
Oh-! Sorry, am I in your way? I can move over, if you like.
Salon
I've got a terrible allergy to anything made from animal, vegetable, or minerals. What kind of recipes you got for that, Flex?
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It's less white than the hospital though, so he gets up and steps outside the room to look for any sign of someone he recognizes.]
Abby? Runt? ... Dad?
[That is, until he spots one of the humans here, in which Chicken Little will pause mid-step to stare with his mouth open wide... before proceeding to turn in the opposite direction and run away screaming even louder for his friends to see if they can come explain what's going on. Good job introducing yourself there, Chicken Little.]
[Later, once he's stopped running around in a panic down the halls and has calmed down, he comes down the stairs and can be found stopping to look at the plaques, particularly his own with a very noticeable frown.]
Did they... did they really have to use that picture? Or even mention the bumper stickers... Dad's not going to like seeing more of those again...
Rooms
Oh hey, I didn't know you could get McNuggets delivered! Great!
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Yzma takes a few minutes to rant and rage at the cactus plant in her room about how Kuzco has no doubt found the right potion by now and turned human again and ruined all her hard work, before composing herself. It's... ok, it's not fine, but she can fix this. As long as she finds her way back to the empire before Kuzco can turn the whole empire against her, she can lie her way back into the peasantry's good graces. It's not like any of them liked Kuzco anyway- why would they believe him?
She just has to find a way out of here. Wherever "here" is.
Eventually, Yzma leaves her room and finds her way to the plaques, immediately gravitating towards her own. The song baffles her, and she begins muttering to herself-]
That's my voice- and my name- when did I sing this? Did I... did I lose my memory? Is Kuzco already... Yes. Yes, that must be it. Oh, this is just brilliant...
[A wide, menacing grin spreads on her face. Clearly, Yzma's already finished Kuzco off and finished her takeover of the whole empire. The memory loss is worrisome, but the confirmation that all her plans have worked out in her favor does away with any of her previous unease. She hums along to her own song and skims through the rest of the profiles, eventually settling on Kronk. The grin falters, replaced with a scowl.]
My wayward, treacherous assistant. I'll have to have a word with him later.
[Once she's done with the profiles, Yzma can be found just about anywhere- though she spends an awfully long time in the trophy room, eyeing a stuffed llama with something approaching morbid glee.]
plaques
[So many things she barely understands. But it looks like she isn't the only one that's been confused by all these plaques.]
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Trophy Room
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You know, as you do.
Of course, Cecil's not having a good time. It's not prison, but dear God, the smell...he might as well be in the back room of an animal enclosure.
He descends to the lobby, disgruntled, and finds himself fixated on a certain plaque.
For one Robert Terwilliger.]
Oh - come on, now! I can't even have my own kidnapping?
[After all that anguish he just heads to the salon. He needs a drink. Maybe a fine wine. Here's hoping he can find one.]
Salon
Oh hey there Timmy, back already? Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me.
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WELCOME....TO PLEASURE ISLAND! 1/2
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome, one and all to the Adventurers Club! Seventeen brave contestants scooped up from their homes and brought to kill each other in cold blood! But why were they ever brought here? Could they possibly find a way out before it’s too late? Oh, I feel faint already!
[The voice has the same bravado as a gameshow host, although...there’s something a little off about the speaker’s enthusiasm. As the announcer continues to speak, blue smoke begins to billow into the lobby and the lights flicker and dim.]
Now, before we begin, it’s time to meet your ever-charming, always-relevant host. You’ve seen his work in One Thousand and One Nights, you’ve seen him throughout countless cinematic films and experiences--including but not limited to Miss Doubtfire, Night at the Museum, and more! Give us a round of applause for....
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...THE GENIE OF THE LAAAAAAMP!
[Canned applause plays from somewhere in the room. The Genie’s limbs squash and stretch like putty being spun in a washing machine. When he settles, he’s now donning a white suit, sunglasses, and a pompadour.]
Thankya, thankya very much. [He says the words in an Elvis-like drawl before whisking away his suit.] It is good to see you all here on warm, sunny Pleasure Island! Now, how ‘bout those questions you so desperately want answered? I gotta warn you, though--my, ah, contract prevents me from answering everything, so….
[He trails off, visibly deflating as he says the last sentence. He manages to recover, however, and his enthusiasm returns just as quickly as it left.]
So! Questions!
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You, [she demands of the nearest individual.] Give me your name. What planet is this?
[Eventually, she finds herself wandering down to the lobby to get an eyeful of those plaques. The portrait of herself is alarming, because she's awfully sure there wasn't anyone around with a cam when it was taken...but even more alarming is the little biography of herself. It makes her blood boil, and she murmurs through gritted teeth:]
My father was a Senator of the Republic. Whatever fool would call him a tyrant is going to answer to me.
[It doesn't...quite occur to her that the plaque might be referring to her biological parents.]
mezzanine
Why should I?
[ [reality show voice] I DIDNT COME HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS ]
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I'm so sorry
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/Toplevels late with coffee
The room doesn't offer anything of particular interest besides the note, so his first stop is the balcony, followed by the lobby to check out the plaques.
The most interesting thing he can be found doing before the host meeting is trying every window and door to see if any of them open at all. At one point he's gotten ahold of a large book and seems to be contemplating whether or not to toss it at one downstairs window in particular.]
downstairs window
[Nod to the book.]
What'll they do? Sue for property damage? A little demolishing could only improve this dump.
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also the windows
Re: also the windows
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