FIRST TRIAL

[neverhadafriend]

[Once the investigation begins to wrap up, there's a loud feedback noise as a blue speaker appears from thin air. In a tinny, warbled voice not unlike an announcer in a strip mall:]

Will, uh, the people who've been kidnapped against their will and brought to this terrible place please report to the lobby?

[As you approach the lobby, Genie can be found floating overhead, looking...well, nervous. Once everyone has gathered, he waves his hand, and the floor begins to rumble and shake. Slowly, the compass pattern on the ground begins to come apart, reforming and arranging themselves into a spiral staircase descending down into the ground. It's difficult to tell where it leads just by peering down--it looks like you're going to have to walk down there, yourselves.]

See you all downstairs.

[Genie disappears in a puff of smoke. As you descend the staircase, you'll notice the air growing colder and colder, the club disappearing far above you. Eventually, you reach a pair of metal double doors, each of which has a porthole to allow you to look into the room--although it's difficult to make out many details.

As you push open the doors, a blast of warm air greets you as the bright lights overhead practically blind you. After your eyes adjust, you'll notice that the entire perimeter of the room has been decorated in bamboo or thatch, as if someone had transported a beach-side attraction to an underground bunker. The room itself is circular, with a series of podiums set up in a ring. In the center of the podiums is what looks to be a stage. It looks like the numbers on the podiums correspond to your room numbers.]

So! I'm sure the audience at home knows how this works, but for those who are, um, new to this whole system, I'll lay out the rules. You've gathered the evidence, which means it's time to go over it all and figure out who killed poor Doctor D.

BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THESE SUCKERS DESERVES TO BE EXECUTED!

[The new voice comes from above in the form of a metallic squawk, and if you look up, you'll notice that dozens upon dozens of swings and branches hang from the ceiling. Colorful, tropical birds perch above, staring expectantly down at the guests, but their movements seem stiff and inorganic. The bird that spoke up, an orange and yellow conure, leans forward on its perch and leers down at Genie.

Genie clears his throat, ignoring the bird.]

...Oh, yeah. And, um, if you don't vote for the correct culprit, my master said that he'd kill you all. So let's hope you sleuths are good at sniffing out murderers.

[He doesn't seem terribly enthused about it, and doesn't even whip out any funny pop culture references. To be fair, no one would, given the circumstances. The birds, however, begin jabbering among themselves, looking very excited about their newfound entertainment.]

[ TRIAL START! ]

Comments

[tadaishi]

Just that the explosion is probably what killed him.

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[a sigh] That's not a lot to go on. I can't even imagine what that machine out there was supposed to do.

[Hopefully not this.]

[doofenshmirtz]

Usually, these things aren't supposed to explode, but they end up doing so, as his nemesis usually thwarts him as such!

[feudalladyshandmaid]

You mean, 'Perry the Platypus'? [Super intelligent animals are just. a thing everywhere, apparently.]

[doofenshmirtz]

Yes! I was actually built to destroy Perry the Platypus, you know!

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[She assesses this large automaton for a moment.]

And how'd that work out?

[doofenshmirtz]

Well, poorly! But I still serve pretty well as an all-around helping robot!

[feudalladyshandmaid]

Right. And you weren't there to help when he got caught in that explosion.

[So no eyewitness account.]

Is it possible that he could've just been caught in an explosion that he caused?

[primafacie]

I don't think so, Miss Cassandra. There was a greasy handprint on the button of the Wishinator and Kronk found that glove and oil. The good doctor's hands - well, his everything really - were covered in glitter.

[halloteen]

Should we look for oil, then? That's way harder to explain than glitter.

[primafacie]

Well, I would think that's why they wore the glove, but perhaps we could do that.

[dannydorito]

The explosion threw the glove into the other room!

[primafacie]

William, be quiet. The adults are talking.

[doofenshmirtz]

It's possible! But Doctor Doof has never died from a subsequent explosion caused by himself!

[Cartoon logic.]

I suspect foul play!

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[No this is fine. Eugene's been thrown into enough walls to leave an imprint that this is just how things work.]

So much for that theory. Looks like we have a murderer on our hands.

[primafacie]

It was intended to grant wishes. Presumably, he meant for us to wish to escape and then it would blast the front doors.

[halloteen]

A cannon is a little violent for wish-granting. Nobody would have been murdered by a wish-granting pillow.

[primafacie]

Yes, well. That would be the mad scientist part of his work.

[halloteen]

Maybe it wasn't even supposed to end up like this. It could've been some awful accident. [maybe someone wrongly assumed doof was competent]

[primafacie]

I think we can quite safely say it wasn't supposed to end like this, but there was clear tampering and someone deliberately pushed the button so I think it's less safe to assume it was an accident. Besides the trail of shoeprints I found only went one way.

[Meaning they were in the room before the glitter happened.]

[dannydorito]

So maybe the Doc found a how-to in the library and did it wrong, there's a reason humans have so many stories of "forces man was not meant to know" or whatever.

[halloteen]

He didn't really seem like he had the [how to say this delicately] capacity for magic? Someone else had to be involved for that.

[dannydorito]

I keep telling you people there's less of a difference than you like to pretend there is. Aptitude helps, sure, but with the write directions any six-fingered loser with more brains than common sense can rip apart the dimensional barriers, you know?

mods!

[nobodylikesyouwhen]

Look, that still would mean he needed directions. Stop just... throwing random junk around, you're not helping.

[ She turns up toward Genie. ]

Can you tell us if there are any... magic instructions in the library that he could have found?

[neverhadafriend]

[Genie scratches his head, and a bookshelf appears out of thin air behind him. He puts on a pair of glasses and begins rifling through it.]

Magic, magic. M........Medusa, nope. Mythology? Nuh-uh.

[As he searches, he throws the books over his shoulders, until he eventually turns around and shakes his head.]

Nope! Nothing about magic that he could've learned from the library. But maybe he could've learned from someone else?