ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE...

[pleasureislanders]

The first thing you notice upon gaining consciousness is the smell. The air smells musty and woody, like the back corner of some forgotten tourist trap. As you stir yourself awake, you find yourself in a wicker bed with a soft sheet draped over you. The room’s walls are wood-paneled, and a nearby desk displays a digital clock reading “9 AM”. A singular potted plant provides the barest amount of decoration--though, the exact plant species differs between rooms. A note written in flowing cursive has been taped to your door.

MEETING IN THE LOBBY AT NOON
- G ♥
As you make your way out of your room, you’ll find yourself on a balcony overlooking a octagonal lobby below. Various artifacts and trophies decorate the club from top to bottom, cluttering the walls and any available surface. From here, you can clearly see that the marble floor of the lobby is decorated to look like a compass. Descending the stairs will reveal that, in addition to the artifacts mounted on the walls, several plaques have been put up detailing the lives of those trapped here--including you.

If you peer out the windows, you’ll see a tropical island sprawled out before you, overgrown with palm trees and shrubs. If you peer far enough above the treeline, you might even be able to see the ocean. No matter how hard you try, the front door is sealed shut and the windows seem impossible to break.

You've got until noon 'til the meeting happens. For now...enjoy the club, if you can.

[ OOC: Welcome to the Adventurers Club! We're so excited to have you here. This is the intro log--feel free to mingle on this post to your hearts content. At 6 PM EST, we'll be introducing the host! If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the mods. ]

[ LOCATIONS | REGAINS | BIOS ]

Comments

[halloteen]

Whoever owns this place is some kind of... adventurer? Like, the old-fashioned kind that hunt rare animals and explore far-off jungles. I didn't think people like that even existed anymore.

[halloteen]

... [delicately] I don't think they're really gonna. Care. Do you?

[acruelirony]

... Kronk... [Finally unable to hold her anger back anymore, Yzma grabs him by the front of his shirt and yanks him close, her face twisted into a snarl.] You absolute, bumbling fool- I knew I never should have trusted you with any-

Wait.

If the last thing you remember is Kuzco as the emperor, then that means your memory must have been tampered with, too. Yours is just a bit further ahead than mine. [Yzma's grimace turns into a cruel smile, and the sudden change of mood is almost worse than if she'd started shouting. She lets go of Kronk and turns around, beginning to pace around the room.] Yes... Don't you see? Those profiles in the other room- the music that accompanied them- I'm still destined to finally rule the empire without Kuzco in my way.

[RIP to Yzma for thinking a one-off song in an "its a wonderful life"-adjacent episode of the high school au of emperors new groove is a prophecy of the future]

[acruelirony]

Something like that. I prefer the term sorceress.

[Not pictured: me throwing up my hands in exasperation after trying to find any evidence of yzma using magic in canon since multiple sources refer to her as a sorceress, giving up and deciding she probably uses magic to help make potions despite her clearly possessing more of a mad scientist aesthetic]

[dannydorito]

Hey, the best leaders always know how to delegate! Takes a real visionary to herd cats like that.

[tadaishi]

Party store decorations?

[diebartdie]

...sidekick to [nyyyaaaauggghhhhh] one Krusty the Clown.

[diebartdie]

[He’s going to harshly grab at that bottle whether Bill likes it or not. If he’s going to engage in a battle of wits against Fats here, he would not like to be anything but sober.]

Aside from a consistent life of self-loathing and foiled schemes?

Rakes.

[doofenshmirtz]

Obviously. Don't you know how to play checkers?

[He rubs the back of his head, frowning.]

Jeez. We really gotta get you to play a game or two.

[doofenshmirtz]

Huh. That name sounds familiar, but I can't really place it....

[He scratches his chin, looking thoughtful for a moment, before shrugging.]

Eh, whatever! I could make a system much better than this. Just need a few supplies...here, let me show you--

[Doof starts trying to pry off the plaques from the wall, straining.]

C'mon! Who seals something like this?!

[doofenshmirtz]

Doesn't matter--! Doesn't matter!

[His squawky voice jumps up an octave.]

Oooh, I'll show you. Once I get my hands on some spare parts, I'll make a Drusselsteinianinator that'll prevent everyone else from ever thinking about any country other than Drusselstein ever again!

[doofenshmirtz]

This cannot occur!

[An idea hits him, and he grins.]

That's it! I'll make an Interwebinator that'll destroy the internet as we know it!

[doofenshmirtz]

Yeah, but, like, sooner or later someone's nemesis is gonna show up and everything's gonna be fine. There's a formula to these things, it kind of has to be wrapped up in 20 minutes. We can't just keep going on and on raising the stakes all the time, can we?

[What the hell is he talking about?]

Do you have a nemesis?

[dannydorito]

[Yeah, sure, he can have the bottle. The bartender bit has long ceased to be the point here.]

Oh, I get it! The rakes are a metaphor for your own hubris, right?

[dannydorito]

Yes! Go! Fly! Save the people from themselves, you beautiful crazy diamond!

[feudalladyshandmaid]

[What the hell is he talking about?]

We- Uh... [She almost answers that, because she actually sort of did have a nemesis. Then, she realizes that's silly.]

Are you messing with me or something?

[primafacie]

Oh, I don't really know... and I'm really not very comfortable with weapons.

[Her massive fairy wings unfurl and she's hovering a couple inches off the ground, but something on her face seems to indicate this is not what she wanted.]

That's so strange - I can't get any higher than this.

[primafacie]

Nobody's ever thrown you a surprise party or planned a very nice outing for you?

[Sugarplum sounds genuinely shocked by this. What a poor, miserable child.]

That's ever so sad.

[primafacie]

Oh, I'm not human but it's ever so nice that you should think that. [That means she's PERFECT. So perfect she even looks like a real human!] We don't know who kidnapped us, but we've all been told to meet in the lobby at noon so I assume we'll find out very shortly.

[primafacie]

Oh dear. You seem to have made it worse - if Marie were here, I'm sure she would have it fixed in the blink of an eye. Perhaps if you hit one of the other buttons it'll turn it off?

[She's not really much for tinkering, but she knows some basic principles. Sometimes you just have to hit all the buttons!]

[primafacie]

Oh, good! A professor will surely know the answer.

[bornforit]

[Oh, Yzma. You picked the wrong time to call yourself 'Empress.' Leia's eyes flash dark and angry, and even though she only stands an inch over five feet, she's got...a presence, certainly. Especially staring down what she can only assume is some undiscovered species.]

Princess Leia of Alderaan. Leader of the Galactic Republic. If you're with the Empire, I've certainly never heard of you.

[bornforit]

An inn? Hm. Doesn't look like any inn I've ever seen. It's so...primitive.

[Her nose is wrinkling, a little, as she looks around them.]

You were traveling? I sure wasn't, but I feel like I've just been through hyperspace.

[bornforit]

[Leia studies the other girl with...a little less suspicion. She's right, as much as Leia's own bruised ego and paranoid worry don't like to admit it.]

You're lucky, then. Not everyone is capable of an outlook like that.

[The princess bows her head, just for a moment, and then turns to face Rapunzel.]

I'm Leia.

>:(

[bornforit]

[Leia stares at this short, squat nightmare of a man for a long, long moment. She contemplates murder. She really does.

But instead, she just exhales, nostrils flaring.]

It's unfortunate that they invited someone so clearly mentally deficient to this party.